Bicycles Built for Three
Yes, I watched the Oscars last night. I was happy to see Heath Ledger and Kate Winslet win, loved having groups of past winners welcome the winners into their circle, happy for the Slumdog crowd even though I haven’t seen the movie yet. I was surprised to see Sean Penn win, but loved his acceptance speech, as well as the Milk writer’s speech. Now, onto my regularly scheduled entry.
I’m a little late to this conversation, but I’m taking off on a tangent anyway: Amber at American Family started the conversation by asking about parenting norms and safety, and Jody at Raising WEG picked up the ball and kept it rolling.
We have tried to give the girls as much independence as possible, but up till our current house, most of these questions weren’t valid– we didn’t have a yard, and the girls weren’t big enough to walk very far. Now that we do have a yard, I certainly let them play in our fenced backyard without me, but I do check on them through the windows and sometimes through the back door. In our old house, we had a 7-11 catty-corner from our house, and I know I left them alone in the house at least twice to run across– and I do mean run! There’s no park within a block or two of our house, but there are several attractive destinations a bit farther, and that’s what I’m thinking about these days.
The girls turn seven in May, and they have requested bicycles, which seems fun and appropriate, right? I have a troubled history with bikes myself– didn’t learn how to ride till I was nine or ten from timidity, then fell off a ten-speed at 13 and broke my left arm, haven’t been on a bike since. But I’m not letting this keep my girls from bicycling, though I will be a bit more trepidatious than my parents were (helmets will certainly be required). I’m planning to follow them around on their bikes for quite awhile, since we don’t live in a cul-de-sac like I did as a kid.
But when will we allow them to ride their bikes to the duckponds? When will we allow them to simply take off on their bikes, destination unknown? As a child, I loved that freedom and mobility, but the thought of it, in this world of registered sex offenders and fast cars, makes me quiver. My husband grew up in this same city, and rode his bike far and wide across many of these same streets and neighborhoods, but I can already tell that it will take some time for me to get comfortable.
So if you’re in Baltimore this summer, watch for the mom panting behind her two girls as they wheel away, faster and faster into the future.
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I biked all over the place, with very little thought even for road safety.
We live in a tiny neighborhood (just three long streets) off of rural roads with speed limits of 45mph. That means that the kids will NEVER be left to bicycle aimlessly, because they can’t leave the neighborhood on their bikes.
I appreciate not having to adjudicate the question, but I mourn the loss of that experience on the kids’ behalf….
When I was growing up, I wasn’t allowed to leave my street, but I quit riding bikes before I asked for permission to go further afield. My sister rode her bike all around our neighborhood, but that was in a suburban area full of cul-de-sacs with much less traffic than some of the areas near our house. We’re going to have to lay down some boundaries, I think.
Have been thinking about blogging about this, maybe because of Jody’s post. Anyway, what I would say in a blog post, and will say to you here, is that you will know when it’s ok. Really. If you’re agonizing, you’re not ready. And all of a sudden, one day it will be perfectly clear, and you will be ready, and off they will go.