A Patchwork Life

How to deal with a winter that seems never-ending? Make warm-weather plans!

When we were looking at houses a few years ago, one of the assets we were really hoping to find was a backyard. We were lucky enough to find a house that does have a backyard and were willing to overlook that the yard was essentially one large fenced-in rectangle, with no landscaping, patio, deck or other features that would make it more attractive or usable. The existing fence is two-third wood and one third chain-link, which is as weird-looking as it sounds, and the yard is surrounded by trees, which means we don’t need to add shade, but are limited in what we can plant.

Since we moved in, we have made some major updates to the interior of the house and have planted bushes and flowers in the front yard, but all we’ve done to the backyard is put up a pretty basic swingset for the girls. My goal this summer is start making the backyard a more attractive place to be, especially since in the spring and summer, we like to eat dinner out there, grill and have backyard parties. Our neighbors did a backyard remodel last year, including a pergola for their deck and some pretty extensive landscaping, and I’ve been jealous ever since.

I started by thinking small, after seeing a link to some whimsical solar-powered garden ornaments. I might even let my girls pick out one or two animal statues to place around. Then I started thinking about swings– my dad has one in his backyard, and it’s always been one of my favorite places to spend a sunny afternoon. Since our back yard is pretty shaded already, we could think about a set that doesn’t include an awning, like this one, this one, or even this one. Then I started remembering how much I’ve always hated the chain-link part of our fence, and read some sites about these amazing new hybrid hydrangeas that can bloom in partial shade and would bloom from spring to early fall. I’ve always loved hydrangeas, and right now the only flowering plant in our backyard is a lovely dogwood that doesn’t bloom every year. So I started daydreaming about a hedge of hydrangeas along the chain-link fence, in several different shades, maybe mixed in with some nice green bushes so the effect doesn’t get too overwhelming. You can see how my dreams were increasingly growing larger, right? So far, some planting, some swing assembly, which isn’t too bad, but the dollar amount is steadily climbing.

So then, of course, I started having patio visions. Right now, we have a nice iron table and a bunch of random plastic lawn chairs to go around it, which sit on the part of the yard right outside the back door, which is semi-grassy, semi-muddy. The back of the house is bordered by a cracked concrete sidewalk, that has been an eyesore (in my mind) since we moved in. I’d love to break it up and get it out there altogether and then replace it with something fabulous, but even in my daydreams, I don’t see myself with either a jackhammer or a limitless backyard budget. But in my internet travels, I started to see a fair amount of articles about covering old concrete. Specifically, I saw this story about covering it in pea gravel, which other sites had called economical and relatively easy for DIY homeowners. The patio is the (modest) crown of my backyard dreams, and it really does seem pretty do-able, once you get the gravel delivered and decide how to make a border (Pavers? Bricks? Concrete edgers?)

Now, of course, that’s easier said than done. I can see my husband shaking his head right now, even (hi honey!). The most ambitious we’ve gotten with DIY projects have been painting, interior and exterior, putting together our swingset, and ripping up old carpet from the stairs. The patio will be the biggest project we’ve attempted, but so far, it honestly doesn’t look that tricky, and it seems like the cheapest solution. I think we’d get a fair amount of bang for our buck, and between two youngish, healthyish adults, I think we could do it all ourselves.

Whether we accomplish this spring and summer or only get started, it has certainly helped me while away some winter hours.

For some reason lately, I’ve been experiencing these floods of love with my girls. Maybe it’s because they are getting so big (8 in May!), or maybe it’s because there seems to be more gray in my hair every time I look, but so many moments with them, mundane little moments, just knock me out.

Today, Sophie was home from school recovering from a stomach bug, and my husband was sleeping in, so I was rushing around to get Lucy and I ready for school and ran out of time to pack Lucy a lunch. So I promised her I would bring her a surprise for lunch, and at lunch time, my sister and I went to the nearby grocery, bought her a Lunchable (the turkey and cracker kind) and brought it to her. We snuck in through the side door and up to her table before she noticed we had come in, and when she turned? And saw us? The burst of happiness on her face was so bright. And she hugged me, and then my sister, and grinned at her little stack of cheese and crackers and tiny pack of Skittles, and hugged us both again, and scrubbed her little head against us when she did, and I just about melted.

Also today, when I got home, grouchy from a long day, Sophie was so excited to see me, and clearly feeling so much better. And then while we were watching a “short show” before bathtime, Sophie asked me if she could brush my hair while we watched. And we sat there, her little fingers so gentle, twisting and stroking my hair, and then she asked me if she could take a break (of course), and she laid her sweet chubby cheek against my back and wrapped her arms around my waist for just a few moments, before the hair-brushing resumed.

Even now, though it just happened today, my eyes are watering when I write this, even though they are right upstairs, splashing in the bathtub. How much longer will we have that easy unclouded joy between us, and how will I ever watch them walk away.