Public Apologies

I’ve been fascinated lately with a developing genre of the personal/confessional essay: the public apology. The premier examples in my mind are found under Dave Bry’s byline at The Awl, one of my favorite aggregator-type websites. Bry’s apologies are stunning, really, when read all together: full of pathos, empathy, candour, a wicked wit and clear eye for his own failings. I have a few favorites of course, that resonate with me; both of those are tales of the escapades of youth, when we are invulnerable and free floating and entirely of our particular moment.

I can think of a handful off the top of my head I could write, but would I post them here, where they would be easily Google-able? That’s another thought entirely. But I think I have actually done so, in a way, here. It’s akin to the open letters that are also a staple of blogging like Melissa at Shakesville’s ongoing I Write Letters series, which, interestingly enough, is another form of blogging I’ve never tried.

In thinking over the spring semester, I gave my students some real hurdles to jump as far as creative writing with a series of transactional writing assignments, and it’s resulted in some amazing and creative pieces: a letter from Holden Caulfield to Mark David Chapman, a stream-of-consciousness piece from Baby Suggs to Sethe inspired by Beloved, and much more. Have I been pushing them much harder than I’m willing to push myself as a writer? Have I been asking them to take on challenges I’m not willing to tackle?

I guess my first public apology then is to myself and my students; I’ve been hypocritical in asking my students to leap over hurdles I’ve shied away from, and I have not challenged myself enough as a writer. One of my summer goals is to challenge myself more as a writer, in this space and out of it.