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Poetry as Journaling

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One of the unexpected side benefits of my poem-a-day month has been that I have found myself using the poem prompts almost as I would journal prompts. You can look back over the 22 poems I’ve written (yes, I’m a little behind) and get a pretty good sense of my emotional state in the past few weeks, the days when I’ve been down and the days when I’ve been up.

Blogging has been a wonderful tool and definitely made me a better writer, but for me, it’s never been a confessional-style journaling tool. I’m not a blood-and-guts kind of blogger, preferring to save my most revealing moments for longer-form work. I’ve published poems and essays about my life, but that’s not what blogging has ever been about for me, even though I knew it would limit me as far as popularity. I don’t see this as “emotionally shut down,” but simply as self-awareness about what I want blogging to be, and how I want to function as a writer. I want you, my readers, to feel like you know me, but not like you know all of me.

So the poems I’ve been writing, which are all attempts to capture certain moments or emotions, have really been valuable to me, personally and as a writer. As a poet, I like some of what I’m coming up with, but even more, I’m finding some of that release that every diarist knows, when we hit upon the exact right word that expresses what we’re feeling, and our soul feels a little lighter. It’s a nice combination, and I’m trying to think of ways to keep it going after my month is over. I know Poetic Asides does a Wednesday Poetry Prompt, and I’m wondering what else I might be able to find.

Blogiversary

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Like Anjali, I recently passed my 500 post milestone for this blog, which I first posted in on July 12, 2007. That also means that my blog will turn five this summer, the same year that my children and my marriage turn ten.

That first month, I had stopped posting in an old personal blog I maintained primarily to keep in touch with family and friends, back in the old pre-Facebook days and started this shiny new blog, though not yet under my own name. It was my first time using WordPress, and I had decided to make myself a blog/website where I could host the writing clips I was slowly but surely amassing. Like Anjali, I wanted a blog that was much more about myself as a writer than as a mother. I was starting to think more about my voice as a writer and my online presence, and I wanted to start fresh.

Now, looking back, I think this blog made another shift that paralleled my career shifting, as I moved from a writer who taught adjunct classes to a teacher who tries to make time for writing. I still post about wonderful lovely girls, but the focus of my professional and creative life has shifted, and so has my blog.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: maintaining the blogging habit has been one of the best decisions I’ve made in the past five years, as a writer and in terms of personal growth and health.  I simply can’t imagine my life without it.

Thanks so much for coming along on this journey with me; I hope you’ll stick around for the next five years.

2011: Year In Review

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As 2011 draws to a close, I look over the year and see where I’ve been and how it affected me; getting to review my year this way is one of the reasons I keep blogging. The opportunity to reflect is so important to me, and blogging is one of my major tools to keep this focus in my life. Not to mention, my memory seems to get worse and worse every year!

In January, I became active on Twitter, fell in love with The King’s Speech, and finished up my first senior elective with a windows and mirrors project. I thought a lot about high pressure parenting and sustainable marriages, two concerns that are always close to my heart.  February brought cautionary tales for teachers and the very beginning of a big project for me in March, my March Madness poetry tournament. I also set myself a poetic challenge and met it, with great success. I also felt ambivalent about spring break balance, which haunts me every year, I think.

It’s become a tradition of mine to spend April doing as many poetry-related activities as possible, so it was fitting that I wrapped up my tournament and challenged myself again (though with less success this time). April is also a big month for me as a GSA advisor, and I was proud to see my club members create our most successful Day of Silence yet. In May, my girls turned nine and my grandmother died, so it was a month spent with family, and thinking about gratitude. I got a little discouraged about teaching ambition and resorted to bribery.

And then it was summer! For whatever reason, I spent a fair amount of June posting about teaching. I considered keeping a teaching journal and even bought one by the end of the summer, though I have since lost it (must check my desk at school). I reviewed my evaluations, watched my students graduate and received the perfect end-of-year gift. In July, I got a little clutter crazy and fell in love with Spotify, an affair that is still raging today. I also continued my teacher-blogging streak, posting reviews of helpful books and thinking about professional development.

In August, I finished my thirty-second year and turned 33, and spent my birthday exactly how I would have liked. I also made two resolutions, regarding organizing my wardrobe and focusing on fitness. Unfortunately, my fitness resolution has progressed more in fits and starts, but on the brighter side, my closet focus has really made my life easier. In September, I kept up my healthy momentum, reflected on priorities and had a tough disappointment in my own balancing act. But I also embraced my inner dictionary nerd and reviewed a book that continues to influence my teaching.

In October, I was thinking and writing about social justice issues, about being a GLTBQ ally at school and in in families, and pondering my relationship with feminism. I reconnected with Hemingway and was pleasantly surprised at what I found, and in related news, reflected on my Kindle. In that same reflective mood, I thought about who I am, who I was, and what decisions led me here.

In November, I set myself a fun cooking challenge, made my first pizza crust, and spent some time in grading jail. I read a childhood favorite with my girls and got some great poetic news.  December saw us struggling with a very itchy foe, as I struggled with work overload and my girls learned some homework lessons. In gearing up for Christmas, I thought a lot about screen time and usage, and how I friend or don’t friend my students on Facebook.

Wrapping up the year in reflection, I have been so pleased with two ongoing projects of mine: my outfit journal and my gratitude journal, both of which have made my life easier and more peaceful. I also made some goals and resolutions for the upcoming year.

Thank you for coming along on this journey with me, and I hope you have a wonderful New Year.

Blogging With My Students

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Way back last August, I wrote a really optimistic post about all the new endeavors I wanted to try this year in my teaching. In the spirit of reflecting on my teaching being one of the main reasons I still blog, I wanted to look back at this list and see how many I actually implemented.

Sigh. Sometimes reflecting is depressing.

First, my major accomplishments:

  • my students did blog all year, a blog for each text as well as a year-long blog for grammar and writing workshop activities.
  • we did connect with another 9th grade group in our study of Macbeth, which is currently ongoing but also currently unbloggable.

Now, for the misfires.

  • I set up a teacher blog for myself and just never used it; I think I had too many vague ideas for how to use it and need to instead focus on one concrete strategy to start with, and then I could add more later.
  • I didn’t do anything with wikis; the way they are set up on my website are much less intuitive than I had hoped they would be.
  • I didn’t add current events into my student blogging at all.

The aspect I’m most sorry I didn’t implement is blogging with my students. I’ve done this before in my college classes, and I’ve been blogging myself for about eight years now, so it only seems natural, but somehow it just hasn’t gelled yet. I read great articles on the advantages and practical pieces on the challenges, and I see what students can do and what teachers have done, but I still haven’t figured out the best way for me to begin.

This year, I am proud of what I did manage to accomplish, and will try to remember in the future that being overly ambitious can leave me frustrated and even overshadow anything I do manage to complete.

Better luck next year, I guess.

Oscillating Wildly

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I have always been the kind of writer who hops from piece to piece, genre to genre; if my energy starts to run low with one, I jump to the next, trusting that the novelty will be invigorating. The benefit of this approach is that I sometimes do go back and find myself willing to tackle the old piece with fresh eyes, gaining a new piece in the process. However, more times than I would like, I end up with a thriving new project and a pitiful abandoned project that I actually liked, but have gone cold on, for whatever reason.

Do you see where I’m going with this? It appears that I am also that kind of blogger, though at a much slower pace. It has become increasingly difficult to motivate myself to post here, while at my book blog, I’m posting reviews, joining reading challenges, joining new memes, gaining some regular commenters, queuing up posts almost every day. I’m feeling all kinds of energy about that blog, and low energy over here.

So what does this mean? Will this blog become the abandoned one, or will I tackle it again with fresh eyes? It’s hard for me to say right now, and I suspect I need yet another conversation with myself about what role I want blogging to play in my life right now as I know it, and where my time is best spent.

So please check in with my book blog, and I’ll keep you posted about this space. As always, any suggestions or thoughts would be welcome, and your presence as my reader means more to me than you know.

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