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Gone Til November

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Star Trails over Lake Moomaw

Image by ShowPaul via Flickr

So it’s November, right? Who knew?

Clearly, I took an unexpected blogging break. These breaks are always hard for me to come back from: what to say first?

I could tell you how many box of cookies are still on my living room floor, how much fun we had at North Run Farm Sunday, how much fun we had trick-or-treating.

I could tell you about the posts I’ve started and abandoned since the last time I posted. One was about Halloween, trying to capture the craziness and festivity in our school’s hallways on a day like that. I didn’t finish it in time to be timely and kind of ran out of steam after that. The other was about how large a gap there seems to be sometimes between my own childhood and the one I’ve shaping for my girls, and that one just really was too unwieldy/thinky/personal to make a good post for me right now.

I could tell you how many emails are in my inbox right now (but I don’t want to scare you).

I could tell you how much I’m looking forward to our Thanksgiving trip to Bath County, Virginia, including dinner and a concert at Garth Newel. We went last year with my in-laws, and it was just idyllic.

I could tell you how tired I am every morning and every afternoon, without giving it some kind of perky qualifier like I might usually.

I could tell you that I’ll be better next time.

Blah Blah Writing Blah

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Stephen King signature.

Image via Wikipedia

 

I borrowed this post title from the wonderful Dr. Crazy, who’s on sabbatical and blogging her torturous and funny path through her current book project in posts tagged that way. Plus she likes one of my new favorite bands, Florence and the Machine!

Her posts on writing have made me laugh, sympathize, and be so glad I’m not doing that kind of academic writing anymore. I used to love the way it stretched my mind in new ways, and loved poring over new theorists I’d just discovered, but I was never thoroughly convinced that I needed to be doing this writing, that it really fulfilled me or had the potential to make an impact on the world in a meaningful way. Now of course, I’m not saying academic writing can’t do that, or even that mine couldn’t have, but I never felt like I was, and that feeling has become more and more important to me.

Then I spent about a five-year chunk writing for progressive magazines and websites, which was incredibly fulfilling and made me a better writer, but requires a level of engagement and focus on culture that I had trouble maintaining any longer after my teaching-based employment ramped up. Through those years, I was blogging, of course, which I credit with my continuing ability to write through years that were tumultuous, to say the least.

In the past year or two, my writing energy has all been directed towards poetry (intermittently), creative nonfiction, and writing about teaching, just as my blog entries have become more and more about teaching as well. I’ve got a nonfiction piece out right now that had its original genesis in a blog entry and am polishing up a personal essay that will go out shortly as well. My pace has gotten incredibly slower now that I’m working full-time, so I’m even more pleased that I have these pieces lined up and ready to launch.

So what’s all this to say? I guess reading Crazy’s posts has just brought home for me once again what I’ve come to believe more and more strongly. Writers don’t write because it’s our job, or because it’s fun, or because we have a way with words, or are just killing time. Writers write because we have to–even when it feels like torturous “blah blah blah,” even when the stuff we see on the page looks horribly amateurish or embarrassing, even when it feels like we never have time to write or to make our writing better. My friend Dawn has had rotating “writer’s quotes” on her blog for years, all to this effect, all from incredibly famous and successful writers. Stephen King said it in his essential On Writing, and there are some great quotes from E.B. White in this Maud Newton post too.

We write because we have to, because it’s part of how we see and enter the world, because as hard as it is, it lives deep inside our bones, because it comes spilling out or is always humming below the surface, because not to write is not to be who we are.

We are writers, and we write.

Nine Ways Blogging Has Made Me A Better Writer

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Since the school year ended, I’ve really been enjoying having the mental space and energy to get back to writing. I’ve also been working my way through this workbook on better blogging, not so that I can be the next Dooce or anything, but just as a fun challenge.

Per that program, this is my list post, specifically a list within a post, paying tribute to this here blog as a huge part of my writing life.

Without any further ado:

It’s established the writing habit for me, so that I can look back over the past seven years or so and know that I’ve been consistently writing, even if it was just a paragraph or two, not daily, but regularly.

It’s kept me writing regularly, through rocky and even harrowing times. As I’ve said before, I don’t blog much about those times, but I would have hated for any of them to derail me in a pursuit that has been so important to me.

I can write much better, much quicker, than ever before. This has been a big help to me when I am facing grades-and-comment-writing for school, but also it’s made me a much more productive writer. Once my girls were born, and now juggling full-time teaching, there’s no way I would get anything written if I clung to the luxury of needing enormous amounts of time and quiet to be able to write.

It gives me a public audience, but one I have to earn and one that keeps me accountable. I have never gone pedal to the metal as far as earning blog readers, but I do think a lot about how I write here and what people might want to read, and I do feel guilty if my blog sits too long without a post. I’ve made some friendships as a result of blogging, and I like to think that is partially because of how I represent myself here, as a writer and also as a person.

I can’t think of a better way to work on developing a personal voice. In the past few months, I’ve been given compliments on my writing voice by editors and several friends who are professional writers, saying that it is clear and distinct, and I owe it all to blogging.

It does not detract from my writing energy. I’ve never seen this blog as a “platform” for a bigger project and have never expected to earn money from it (and I have never earned a dollar directly from this blog). So I don’t spend hours worrying about SEO, Adsense, publicity strategies or worrying that I’ve “sold out.” My blogging time is spent either blogging/writing or tinkering, which doesn’t use writing energy and has other benefits. I’d even say that blogging can sometimes get me into a writing groove, which will then carry over into other writing tasks.

I’ve become better about rationing and deploying the writing energy I do have. This summer, I’ve spent time in my poem notebooks, drafted a personal essay and have ideas for a few more, wrote a poetry book review and website review, and am drafting a feature for Instructify. In short, I have generally been experiencing a slow but steady writing resurgence, which is a great feeling after my drought this spring. Each of these tasks has been accomplished piecemeal, as I jot down phrases and paragraphs, patch them together, and then polish the finished piece, and being able to write in small chunks like this is a direct result of the years I’ve invested in blogging. My reviews for Instructify are supposed to be 200-300 words, with a conversational tone: sounds like blogging to me, except I’ll get paid!

It’s helped me get writing jobs. One of the reasons I switched to WordPress is the easy ability to have static posts, which adds website-style capabilities to a blog. It’s been wonderful to have a way to collect and regularly update my writing clips, and be able to easily and quickly send links to editors with pitches. I also like being able to look over my clips and see how I’ve progressed and where I might want to go next.

It’s helped control my profile as a writer. If you Google my name after reading one of my articles online or in print, or when considering whether to hire me for a writing gig, you will likely land on this website, which is chock-full of links to other writing of mine, as well as a wealth of several hundred blog posts. Not only that, but it’s helped me be deliberate about what I want that impression to be, since I have full control and want to take advantage of it.

I’d love to hear any feedback you have on this post, whether it’s as one of my readers or as a writer or blogger yourself.

The Meaning of Tinkering

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When I first started blogging, lo these many years ago, I used Blogger.com, had the most basic of templates, and composed each blog post on the fly, not giving much thought to revising or crafting. I didn’t know how to post images, had only a basic working knowledge of HTML, and gave little thought to what my blog was for and what impression it gave. Posts went live in an instant, I never planned very far ahead, and they were often riddled with errors and typos. Blogging to me meant a release, an outlet, a connection the writer I wanted to be and the people I didn’t want to lose. My blog was just that, a place for me to blog, and I rarely got a comment from someone I didn’t know, much less had never met.

These days, I debate templates and tags, add and subtract widgets and categories, edit and revise the static pages I’ve carefully written, email with WordPress support people when a featured option isn’t working, and periodically check featured links to make sure all are still vibrant. I stockpile blog drafts in a OneNote notebook so I can polish and rearrange until they’re just right, add drafted posts to my account, give them a final polish, sometimes schedule them ahead of time, and watch as they post to Facebook and the comments pop up like mushrooms, many of which bear familiar friendly names but faces I wouldn’t know. I own my own domain name, post documents and photos, have thought seriously about moving to a self-hosted WordPress site or learning CSS, and do it all under my own name.

I think blogging has definitely made me a better writer, but maintaining this website has also made me a better website producer, which has been invaluable as I build and maintain the Sharepoint website I keep as a teacher and encourage my students to blog. I have a much better sense of what a visitor to a site might want, how to arrange things for readers to easily find them, and what value there is in visual appeal and flow. Above all, after years of tinkering with blogs and websites, I have a certain level of comfort, trust and familiarity with website functions, HTML, and the power of self-publishing.

So not only has blogging given me an extensive course in writing, but also a valuable confidence in my ability to master the rudiments of website creation and maintenance. One of the added side benefits of having my students blog and use discussion boards and wikis is that they get to experience a taste of that confidence too, and maybe even start to build the faith it takes to tinker.

Through a Blog, Darkly

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I’ve been blogging for over seven years now, the first four years or so in an anonymous blog before I started and switched to this one. My third blog-birthday in this space is coming in July, after over three hundred posts. Making the decision to blog under my name gave me a much-needed rebirth as a blogger, but entailed making many other decisions in order to write more carefully and thoughtfully now that I would be publicly accountable.

Even in my “All about me” posts, there is so much I don’t write about, for so many reasons. Much of what I don’t write about here are the darker patches, the secrets and hurts I only share with those closest to me, the occasional case of the the mean reds, long-standing family or personal issues that rear ugly heads from time to time . There are many boundaries I’ll never cross in this space. I’ll never blog about my husband or marriage, about my children or other family members, in ways that would make them uncomfortable or be significant surrenders of their privacy.

But then, am I being honest? Am I portraying a misleading picture of my life, that I have it all and juggle it all with a smile on my face? Is it fair to only discuss the positive aspects of my job, my personality or my family life and never the negative, fair to anyone who might read this blog and then feel inferior or insecure, feel like I’ve got it figured out and they don’t?

To anyone who may read this blog and feel that way, I’ll leave you with some excerpts from two Walt Whitman poems, words that have comforted me before when I have been in need of it. The first is from “Crossing Brooklyn Ferry,” the second and third from “Song of the Open Road.” All are deeply resonant for me, and I hope they will be for you as well.

It is not upon you alone the dark patches fall,
The dark threw its patches down upon me also,

———————

(Still here I carry my old delicious burdens,
I carry them, men and women, I carry them with me wherever I go,
I swear it is impossible for me to get rid of them,
I am fill’d with them, and I will fill them in return.)

…….

Be not discouraged, keep on, there are divine things well envelop’d,
I swear to you there are divine things more beautiful than words

can tell.

What Makes a Great Teacher (Part Three)

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I have really enjoyed writing this series, and have really enjoyed hearing what you have to say. Here are some of the comments I found to be the most interesting or thought-provoking:

Lauren says:

When the only education experience one has is as a student, it’s difficult to see the classroom from the viewpoint of a teacher. Schools that require and provide a lot of observation hours and give student teachers the chance to assist in real classrooms are providing the best experience

LSM says:

I think I would seem like a great teacher at an easy school like my husband’s but that still wouldn’t make me a teacher inside……He is an amazing teacher and is so passionate and into it – but I doubt he’d last a week at my school, even though he is truly a teacher in his soul.

Geekymom says:

I think that joy, that connection is also about really hearing your students, really accepting their contribution to the class, letting those contributions inform your practice in real ways that students can see……My enthusiasm waxes and wanes depending on the group of students

Becca says:

a good teacher is aware of everything that is going on in her classroom at every moment, from how engaged each student is, to how much of the content each student is grasping (and as you know, those are two different things), to how she needs to shift her teaching moment by moment to engage everyone and help everyone grasp the content. That is the weakness of my worst teachers: they are unable to see the big picture and balance the macro and micro at once

Tammy says:

I really think liking school is a definite pre-requisite to being a good teacher.

Maybe?

I feel like there are so many more posts that could be written in this vein: what do you think?

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