
Image via CrunchBase
If you are my Facebook friend, you know that I am a frequent user of the site, checking in several times daily, posting pictures, commenting on statuses and syncing my music playlists through Spotify. I utilize all the site’s privacy features, but I definitely do a lot of communicating on Facebook. If you’ve been around long enough, you know that I even taught a university-level course on Facebook Culture for a few semesters, and that I am always looking for new ways to use teaching with technology. Finally, of course, I have been blogging for about eight years, presenting a (carefully curated) continuing portrait of my interests and personality.
All of this might lead you to believe that I have positive views on using Facebook to connect with my current students, and when I was teaching at the university level, I did set up a Facebook group for my courses and use it to communicate with students about course business. However, I was and am firmly opposed to connecting with my current high school students via Facebook, text messaging, or other non-school-related forms of communication.
For me, there are some key distinctions here: my high school students are still children, legally and emotionally, in ways that my college students were not. This means that inherently, there is a power dynamic present that any responsible adult should be very careful not to exploit. We often see this manifested as inappropriate sexual behavior, but what about the teacher who “friends” some students but not others, who sends chatty text messages to Janie but not Jenny? How does Jenny continue to feel fairly treated in that classroom? It also means that they still need us to be adults, to be safe adults in their lives and to draw boundaries for them about what is and is not acceptable and appropriate, including in matters of communication. Just like in parenting, we are not aiming to be our students’ “friends,” or our children’s “friends.” We are not their peers, and when we try too much to be, we erode our ability to continue to act as authority figures.
I feel like it’s important for me to clarify here that I don’t take this position because I’m embarrassed of anything my students would know about me if we were connected on Facebook; it’s categorically impossible for drunk photos of me to exist, for example, and I have no secret past as a sex worker. Also, one work-around I have seen is for teachers to create separate FB accounts for their “teacher” persona, using the name of the high school as their middle name or simply naming themselves “Mr./Ms.” instead of their first name, so that they can still communicate with students on FB without linking their “real” accounts. If a teacher honestly felt that FB was the only effective way to reach their students, I can see this being useful.
It’s become an end-of-year tradition that once students at my school graduate, I see a rush of new requests and friendships popping up in my FB feed, for me and for my fellow teachers. This feels right and good; these students are moving into the adult world, and I’m glad to connect with them as they move forward. I learn about new music, see pictures of their happy faces in new cities, and ignore the mentions of drinking or the occasional swear. We trade links back and forth, and I love to see them when they come back to Baltimore. But for me, I can only really think of them as “friends,” FB or otherwise, once they are no longer my students, and that is as it should be.
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